Mysterious Island
Dear Jules Verne,
I am so sorry that people do such horrendous things to your wondrous works of art. You must forgive them though. Hollywood does strange and horrible things to people.
Now, I don’t know exactly where in your book gigantic insects and arachnids stalked and attacked the inhabitants of the island or where exactly Captain Nemo decided to build a Doomsday device, but I assure you… it made someone some money.
That seems to be an interesting marketability in Hollywood today. Take any good deceased author’s work and butcher it soley for the purpose of hype. However! You must put the original label on it so that all the lovers of the book will flock to it like lemmings over the edge or cattle to the slaughter… either way they get screwed.
This reminds me of the new Pontiac GTO or the Dodge Charger. How dare these bastards take something so many of us hold true and dear and twist it grotesquely into some nightmarish aberration solely for the purpose of marketability. At least with the movies no one gets to see how ridiculous it looks until after they’ve spent their money.
I have one final thing to say and it is to Hallmark and Patrick Stewart…
…and it is… have you no shame!?