Secondhand Smoke vs. My Flatulence

My mother and I seem to be at odds on something.

I believe that if someone is allowed to smoke in an establishment that literally forces myself and my family to endure someone smoking, that I should be allowed to pass gas.  As much as I want…

My mother says that starts to blur (and break) the boundaries of social well-being and rules of manner and politeness.

Again I say… if they can smoke and spread a foul odorous smoke, I can fart and spread a foul odorous stench.

I mean… at least my smell does not cause cancer!

3 Comments »

  1. LateBlt said,

    October 17, 2006 @ 8:45 pm

    Are you certain of this? Has your flatulence passed through the usual testing and approval process for non-carcinogenicitousness?

    Perhaps part of the problem is the famed flammability of our emissions. Flammable gas + lit cigarettes = non-optimal situation.

  2. toe said,

    October 19, 2006 @ 6:44 pm

    Well, no. However, the worst offense my gaseous ways have ever committed is being an affront to humanity.

    I imagine that I would need to produce a rather copious amount of gas before being ignitable by cigarette.

    I am only good for 0.5 to 0.75 PSI or so.

  3. LateBlt said,

    October 19, 2006 @ 8:11 pm

    0.5 to 0.75 PSI? You’re just not trying hard enough. If you wish to join the Elite Gas Crew, a portable compressor (typically electric) is the way to go. You can carry it in a backpack and empty out an entire restaurant in seconds, although you’d probably need to carry an extra tank to get to evacuating sports stadiums and ocean liners.

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