Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Yeah, yeah, we’re only 2 hours into it, but I plan on lapsing into a coma momentarily, so here’s to all my Leprechaun buddies out there.
So, here’s a few tips for your Irish lads and lasses:
1. Never show your arse to a law enforcement officer.
2. Never bribe a law enforcement officer.
3. Never hit a law enforcement officer.
4. Never spit on or at a law enforcement officer.
5. Never swing wildly on someone who bumps you in a nightclub as they may be an undercover law enforcement officer.
6. Never throw your beer on a law enforcement officer.
7. Never bite a law enforcement officer.
8. Never motion with your hands like you’re firing a gun at a law enforcement officer.
9. Never tell a law enforcement officer, “Come and get me then, you fuggin’ wanker!” (Alternatively, don’t call them a “steam hole,” either. Apparently they ALL know what it means.)
And last but not least, believe it or not…
10. Never grab a law enforcement officer’s crotch and attempt to kiss them.
This list has been made possible by those wonderfully inebriated and lovable cousins and friends in my life — and who said the Irish don’t know how to have fun?
Éirinn go Brách!
