Rantings, mostly…

I am so tired and unenthusiastic about this post I am not even going to post any links whatsoever to Adult Swim or some of its newest retarded “horror comedies” like Stiff and Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace.

Stupid shite isn’t even funny.  It makes me SICK!

Seriously though… Stiff is stupid.  Decent gore for a low-budget piece of shite though.

Speaking of which, is Adult Swim really that low-budget?  Since when?

(The links don’t actually work so don’t bother clicking on them.)

OK, I feel you on the boy being murdered, being some severely screwed up shit.  But screw that shite.

These two little bitches, are caught, and they were caught doing some horrendous arsed shite.  I personally would break these bitches fingers for doing what they did to this poor cat.

I mean, I remember back in the day when it was cool to light a firecracker near a cat and watch it bolt, or hell, even attach the firecracker to the cat.  But pouring an accelerant over an 8-week old kitten, and lighting it on fire whilst it screamed and burned alive within a cage?

Oh my God, I’m tingling, I’d like to fuck those bitches up so bad it’s pathetic.

Better yet, pour some flammable liquid on their fucking arses and set them ablaze.  See how those ragged cunts would like that shite!

Yeah, yeah, I used quite a few expletives again.  So I showed I’m an ignorant Neanderthal.

Fuck you too.

And I say who the hell cares?  Get your stupid Oxycodone popping arse back into movies and stop bothering me with this stupid shite.

Personally, I’m interested in “The 10.”

I mean, with a cast like the ever so sexy Famke Janssen, super adorable Gretchen Mol, and the breathtaking bimbo Jessica Alba… you just can’t go wrong.

Oh, and then there’s Kerri Kenney, and whilst I think she’s hot, most think of the oh-so puke-inducing Trudy Wiegel from “Reno 911!“

Make sure to check out Reno 911! by the way.  It’s classic.

And speaking of hot broads in pig uniforms, Mary Birdsong is HOT!

Remember recently, I requested help in winning the Ajax books that were apparently still being offered by FunWithJustin.com?

Well, it appears his site has been suspended for lack of payment.

Maybe Justin should have spent more money funding his site, rather than giving away free shite all the time.  It’s a shame how some good sites just die.

Ah well… no books for me.  On the bright side though, I hope he’s not dead.

My children cannot wait.  After years of watching our “How The Grinch Stole Christmas!” DVD to see the cartoon version of “Horton Hears A Who!“, we are finally being rewarded with a computer animated version.

Classic Horton.

Horton meets CGI!

Despite the recent tragic loss of my niece, and the twice now horrible experiences we have had setting off a few fireworks, happy 4th people.

Monday, we tried setting a few fireworks off.  The police were called by a local drunk asshole we all know and hate.  Although the local newspaper is what notified us that the “burn bans” had been lifted, the officer threatened to confiscate our fireworks (thank God 85% of them were located in the house and not outside with us).

Then in some strange stroke of kindness (more like he realized he was an idiot) he just offered that we quit for tonight, or find a good field or something (um… but you were warning us about the burn ban?) and was on his way.

Well, tonight, one of my neighbors in all his drunken glory decided he would take one of my fountains (I didn’t care) and light it himself.

As my wife, I, and my four daughters looked on it amazement we realized not one second into the lighting that something was amiss.

The first shot of 16 fired, *PPOOOM!*, and that was what sent the fountain skittering on its side.

The fountain continued firing off round after round, *PPOOOM!  PPOOOM!*, sending these mini-mortars flying in my children’s direction, several of my neighbor’s directions and even down to the end of our street barely missing my last neighbor on my side’s *very* nice car.

Needless to say, I said screw this shite, and took everyone inside.  Luckily no one was hurt.

But is God trying to tell us something?  You know… like… “Fuck you!”